I want to post pictures to my blog....

HELP!!! molim te!


hvala ti

its been forever...

so i was trying to google a croatian saying that a friend of mine sent me and i stumbled upon my old blog.... still don't know too much croatian, but i plan on changing that very soon... a lot has changed since the last time i wrote on here...mateo and i broke up, i finished school, and have been working at a shitty job making hardly any money... but life is still good for me. i have friends and family who love me and care for me and i do have a new, most excellent man in my life. so things aren't too bad. i don't think anyone is even going to read this, but if you do, i hope you are doing well.

:) pusa

Its 5 AM...Why am I at work??

So its 5 am and I am at work...my spring break started officially on Friday and instead of partying it up I am at work being bored out of my mind! I must have problems...lol

anyways, this past week has been horrible. I have found out who my real friends are in a span of 7 days! I was told some horrible things were done to one friend by another. I have been told that another friend is doing even worse things. I have found out that another friend has been doing nothing but lying to me and about me for God knows how long. I have had several people lie to me and then recant their stories. I don't know who to trust anymore. I am glad however that all of this is happening because now I know who my true friends are. I have been so upset and so sick all week thinking about all this stuff. I can't sleep, eat, or even think half the time. I am so worried about my best friend and about myself. and now more and more people are getting involved and it worries me that I just might lose these people as friends. and some of them did absolutely nothing. Well at least I hope they did nothing, thats what I want to believe. I know this all sounds so vague, but I just don't want to name names right now. Maybe when this all blows over I can shed more light on it for you guys. but right now I am so lost and can't really trust anyone, and I guess it is better if I don't. Who knows. Someone might google me for the hell of it and find this. and then what would I do? whatever! the only thing I know is that I have lost too many people this week and it makes me sick to think that I trusted some of them with things I never trusted anyone with before. no worries about my Beba. He still loves me and we are fine. But everyone else can fuck off for right now! I wish I could just run away. I hope Mateo keeps his promise and takes me far far far far far away from here as soon as he can!

well I guess I should get back to work. even though nothing is really happening. bah!

pUsa <3

&& MAKE mE SMiLE

.:.Rainy days and Mondays always get me down.:.

So it's Monday... and my neck hurts. I think I must have selpt on it wrong because it is really bothering me! Arg! Anyways, school is going well, minus stupid little bitches talking shit about me. I hate when people have no idea what si going on in your life and they assume that you are just being lazy. Well, sorry but I have been sick for like ever and I just got over a really bad flu, so kiss my ass for not being in class bitch! Anyways, everything else is going just fine for once. No worries about school and no worries about money. And that one hasn't happened in a long ass time! I am still probably not going to Croatia for the summer but that's okay...there is always next summer and by that time I won't have to worry about school anymore so I will have time for everything. and maybe even Mateo can come with me and we can stay with his family. That would be great to finally meet his family! i can't stand not knowing them like he knows my parents! ahhhh! anyways. lol I say anyways a lot. I guess I should be going. I need to take a bath and get to bed early!

pusa kids!

&& MAKE mE SMiLE

Thirsty Thursday

So today has been a long day. Nothing bad has happened really. I has just been long. It has been a while since I have written on here so I guess I should get you guys up to speed on things.

Well, I am almost done with college. I have one more year left and I am totally excited for that! I can't wait to get out into the real world. lol so to speak anyways. How much more real can this shiit get?? am I right? Anyways, I am still with my Beba Mateo. He is the greatest guy in the world. I love him more than anything. He graduates in May and he is most likely going to have to go home for a year or two before he can come back here. Which sucks of course however, I do believe that when I am done with school I will be making my way up there to be with him. But you never know. I wish things could just stay the same but like they always say, the world is ever changing. NOthing too exciting has been happening. I have to take summer classes this summer to catch up on some forgotten credits so no trip to Croatia this summer...plus I have no fucking money to go anymore since I have been forced to start paying for more stuff on my own. Damn my parents and their wanting me to be independant or something. lol

anyways, life is good for the most part. once school is all done I think it will be better but who knows...probably not.

well I gotta go and do some dumb ass homework.

MAKE ME SMiLE ;)

pusa

~Oh what a day~

So yeah...

Today has been going on forever for some reason. I took a test that I thought I was going to do horrible on. Turns out I did pretty damn good on it! I am proud of myself for that! I have been sick for like a whole two months now and I am finally starting to feel better. It is like the never-ending flu. BLAH! But I am doing much better.

Okay well I need to go back to doing homework and what not. I hope all is well with y'all!!

Velika Pusa && Make me SMiLE ;)

Tuesday, Oh What a Day

So school started yesterday...

So exciting... NOT!!!

However I am ready to actually get my work done on time this semester and do better than last semester...I hope all is going well with yous guys!!!

Let me know!!!

&& Make Me SMiLE

pusa

For some reason I only write on Modays

well I have two days left...I am almost done...the major stressors are out of the way...I have one paper left and three exams! I can do it! I am so confident in myself it is not even funny...

well I gotta get back to my papers...just thought I would give you guys an update!

volim te puno!

Make mE SMiLE ;)


pusa

the countdown has begun...

So yeah...

I have 2 weeks until the end of my semester...I think I am going to die soon...I am so stressed...but it isn't as bad as it could be...I only have one paper to write now and one project...so I should be okay...I just hate school...I am seriously considering taking the year off and going to Europe to travel and have a blast without worrying about anything else in the world...I will save my money and do that next year I think...I shall graduate hopefully in May of 2008 or December of 2008...then I will go to Croatia and live for a year and travel all over Europe...then I'll come back and try to work or something....who knows...

It is a nice I dea anyway...I think it is exactly what I need...oh well...I can at least dream about it...


I gotta get goingto class peoples.

Make me SMiLE ;)


puSa

Monday Monday

so its Monday...

I am stressed out yet again...I hate school...I want it to be Christmas break already...but my 21st birthday is in 7 days and I couldn't be happier....you see for us crazy americans you have to be 21 to drink legally...and in 7 days I shall be....I can't wait...my mom is having surgery on my birthday but she is going to be okay I promise....so we aren't going to do anything on that day but we might do something on Sunday...anyways I know this is all boring so I shall stop...

make me SMiLE ;)



---->pusa<----

Dobra vecer

oh how lovely a day this has been!

it started out slow and stressful.... but now I feel great...I have finished all of my homework for the week and i have also got a job interview tomorrow! I am excited!! I hope I get it! It would be some serious money for me and maybe i can even start looking for a new car...for real this time!

Okay well thats all I got for now...I need to go get my laundry out and start folding....blahhhh!


Make Me SMiLE ;)



------>BoK<------

the latest edition

so Mateo and Carolina are teaching me how to speak Croatian.

I don't know enough to write in it on here but I can show you guys a few phrases I learned:

Razvlit cu ti facu--- my favorite! lol

sta ima?
nema nista.
sta ima kod tebe?
hvala.
molim te.
volim te.
radim.
hoces vodu?
hoces sendvic?
koliko je sati?
pokupim te kasnije.
kasnis.
kako si?

nabijem te na kitu--- another one of my faves!



lol so these are just a few of the many words and phrases they have given me...aren't you guys proud? I am learning so fast!!

okay well I g2g...

Make Me sMiLe!!!

bOk

Quarter Draft Night!

.::.Okay so things haven't changed much in the past few weeks.::.

*/*I miss Mateo like mad, but he misses me more and that is nice to know*/*

...::...Mateo comes back in 6 days, YaY...::...

~*I got wasted last night and almost got raped by some guy, not fun, but I put him in his place*~

.:.:.:.I wish I could have more control over some things in my life, but you know me, I can't complain.:.:.:.

*-*-*I am getting a new job as a security guard here at St. Francis, weird, but it pays like $8 an hour, which is damn good for a college student and much better than the library*-*-*

I have decided that I am not going to drink anymore at all...after last night and the intense fear that I was filled with I never want to drink again. I was so scared that this guy was going to hurt me and I didn't know what to do. I mean I kinda put myself in the situation but when a girl says stop a guy needs to know that she means it. But I definately put him in his place! I was too drunk to realize that we I was flriting too much and that I should never have sat there talking to him all alone. BAD IDEA! But yeah I know that it's not my fault. I mean he didn't listen when I said that I have a boyfriend and that I care about him so much it's not even funny! He didn't listen when I said that I'm not a cheater and I would never do that to anyone, because I have been cheated on and I know how it feels. bah I hate boys. I am glad I have real man to care for me.

*-*-*-*I am so happy with Mateo! And I am even more overjoyed that I make him happy too!*-*-*-*

well thats all I've got for now folks

Make me SMILE! ;)

Bok

hey hey hey

Get your own countdown at BlingyBlob.com

so I got excited when I found this thing online!!! It is the shit!!! I hope it works! la la la la I am in such a good mood today! Blah blah blah....I can't wait until my baby comes back! I miss him so...

okay so lets see something weird that happened to me the other night...we went clubbin and I was dancing with my friends when this guy comes up to me and is like hey what's your name and I was like its Mallory and then I was like what's yours? and he goes I'm Mateo...lol I almost died...is is from Poland and it was like his first day in the US so his friends brought him to the club to meet "hot girls" as he put it....lol it was like the funniest and creepiest things i have ever experienced...tho he was pretty hot...he didn't compare to my beba! oh man....

okay well thats all I got for now peoples

<3 PuSa

P.S.
Scroll down.
Check out the slide show.
It has new fotos!

Mr. Goodbar is sooo good to me!

okay so here's an update...

I lost my job because of some stupid stuff... I've decided to go back to church... I still haven't seen the boy... he comes back August 8th so I have 3 more weeks! I got more hours at the library! yay!


nothing extraordinary has been happening really....I have a tan now....lol and I have lost some weight! yay!!

that's really all I've got....sorry y'all


make me smile ;)

PUSA

E da ti si vlasnistvo zabava!!

So it's been awhile people...and I must say much has changed.

I finally got a job...oh yeah a J.O.B. !!!! It is awesome... I love my boss Jenny, she is so cool and very nice. So I like it! Mateo left in May for Canada...blah...I miss him so much...but he calls me like everyday and we talk for like hours...It is so nice...and when he can't call he sends me text messages to let me know he can't or when he will call again. He is being cuter than he has ever been, so I guess that it is a good sign from him...you know that things are going the right way and all that jazz...whatever...but it is sweet..he sends me cute little messages like, sorry I didn't call but I promise to call you 2mara.pusa...its so cute because he like never says cute litte things like that to me...maybe once in a great while....so he is definately making up for not calling over christmas break...most definately...blah.blah.blah...

Me and jessica still haven't talked...its kinda nice but it kinda sucks too...I mean I loved hanging out with her...but then I don't know if I can trust her anymore...I know I have my faults..I mean everyone lies at times...but i don't know what else to do than to just not talke to her...it is easier than dealing...sad...but true...blah.blah.blah...

I had a wicked infection in my glands a few weeks ago...but now I have some antibiotics for it and I feel so much better...I really thought I was going to die for a while there...lol I kid I kid....anyways my uncle had heart surgery yesterday and he is doing well...my mom said that he should be all better in like a month..so I am happy for that...I just found out that my cousin Greg, accidentally lit himself on fire and now he is in intensive care in the hospital. he is like only 16 years old. it is so scary..he is such a good kid, I hope he is going to be alright. damn I hate when shit like this happens. blah.blah.blah...

Okay so nothing else really exciting is happening...and I have written a shit load today....so I hope everyone's summer is going great and I hope to hear from you all really soon!!

Bok

P.S. I have no idea if the title is what I want it to say.
But it should say I hope you are having fun!
So please don't laugh and let me know if that's what it says...hvala prijatelj

wolves die alone!!!!

Vukovi Umiru Sami - Boris Novković


Genre/Lang. : World

(With Lado)
(Eurovision 2005 :: Kroatia)

Tišina k'o sidro veže mrak
U meni polako kopni strah
Ova ljubav je bila priviđenje
Nije ovo moje vrijeme

Do zore je ostao još koji sat
A vani nemir, k'o da je rat
Oblačim kaput i odlazim
Da sve zaboravim

I opet Dunavom plove brodovi
A ti više za mene ne brini
K'o lišće sam, vjetar me raznosi
Vukovi umiru sami

I opet Dunavom plove brodovi
A ti više za mene ne brini
K'o lišće sam, vjetar me raznosi
Vukovi umiru sami

Tišina k'o sidro veže mrak
U meni polako kopni strah
Oblačim kaput i odlazim
Da sve zaboravim

I opet Dunavom plove brodovi
A ti više za mene ne brini
K'o lišće sam, vjetar me raznosi
Vukovi umiru sami

(Dunavom, Dunavom, Dunavom)

I opet Dunavom plove brodovi
A ti više za mene ne brini
K'o lišće sam, vjetar me raznosi
Vukovi umiru sami

K'o lišće sam, vjetar me raznosi
Vukovi umiru sami


This is the best song I have ever heard! I absolutely love it and I know what it means! lol so this is the official song of the entire summer!!!! Okay well guys I don't really have much to say other than I miss you all very much and i wish I had more exciting things to tell you..but alas i do not...so I guess all I can say is I love you all and I hope you have amazing summers!!!

bok

I hope this thing works...it is a new gadget i found online!

These are pictures from this entire school year!

enjoy

OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN

So I was thinking. What is all this religion shit going to take me? I mean I try so fucking hard and I basically get NOWHERE. I think about GOD a lot and I can never really think of any reason to want HIM around. I see no reason to believe in something that hasn't been a comfort to me. I don't see why GOD helps so many and then ignores so many more. I find no solice in HIM. I have no drive to go to CHURCH and no desire to worship in any way. I still wear my cross everyday, but it isn't for HIM. It is a symbol of a hard time in my life that I fought throw on my own. KAIROS was an amazing experience for me and helped me to find myself and be myslef a lot better than I had ever done on my own. But I found no comfort in the idea of GOD being there with me. I still find no comfort in it.I have so much shit going on in my life right now and so many things going right along with so many fucking things going wrong and I find myself turning in for strength, not out. I do believe that I don't need this "RELIGION" shit anymore. Life has kicked me in the ass so many times, I have fought back opn my own. So FUCK all this shit. FUCK religion.

all i care about is you and me, and us, and now

so my boyfriend seems distant. he has been very quiet around me lately and kind of moody. he hasn't been very affectionate but he hasn't been cold towards me either. i am at a loss. i am slighty annoyed by his presence and yet i long to be around him all the time. i really don't feel the need to be around anyone lately and i don't really want to do much of anything. i feel drained and i think i might be rubbing some of that negative shit off on him. i feel like he is bored with me. like he doesn't need me anymore, or maybe he doesn't love me anymore. i hope to God that he loves me. i think i would die without him. but then i stop and think, well he is going to just end up going back to canada anyways, why not forget it. but he claims that nothing will change. i hope it won't. i don't want to lose him. but i feel like he is slipping away. maybe i am the one who is slipping away....

SO its been a while

alrighty guys.

so it has been like forever and a day since i have written on here and let me tell you lots has changed. i have been making a lot of changes in my life that are very drastic...

i am no longer going to be at st francis i will be attending northern illinois university next year and i won't be playing volleyball anymore. which is kind of sad but you know me i will get over it. i have been dating my amazing croatian boyfriend for almost six months now, and i love him more than anything in the world!

I am going to get a new job this summer and i will possibly be in Zagreb in late june to early july, i think, but highly doubtful this summer. i have been going to a therapist to help me deal with the numerous problems i have been having with my mom and she is helping so much. i love her. mom and i are starting to do better so thats cool.

I have lost a few friends in the past few months to stupid shit. stupid shit like tons of back stabbings and lying...they suck anyways so i don't care anymore. and i have been teaching myself how to speak croatian. which isn't really working but my boy is trying to help sp thats cool... i am so much happier than i have been in the past year that it is not even funny.

well thats about it here so i guess i shall be going for now. much love to y'all!!!

pusa ;)

Avant Garde

avant garde at it's best... just thought I would share this amazing discovery of avant gardism with you all... I am beginning to love it more and more.

News from america: nothing exciting. Same Shit Different Day

Pictures...

Me and Carolina....so cute


Crazy I know...


Arturo...gotta love him!

Merry Christmas!!

I hope everyone has an incredible Christmas!!!

**MORE pictures**

This is me and my brother's girlfriend Lindsay...She is so beautiful!


Me and the girls bummin around in J-town...


Total HoTneSS**


Me at the ocean for the first time!


Me and Carolina...

More to come!

ciao

PICTURES

So this is the latest photo of me and the boy. Isn't he sweet? I love him!



this is my bestest friend Ella...isn't she sweet?



this is all of us at a party...like in August but hey it is a cute pic!

Well thats all I got for now. hope you enjoy~

ciao

story time

So yeah...

I was grounded for going out and doing stupid shit last weekend so this past weekend I had to stay home while my amazing boyfriend went out and had fun. :::TEARS::: But it is okay because my birthday is this Sunday and I will be able to go out and do something. I think. Hopefully. I want so desperately to take back what I did. I hate being at home while everybody else is having fun.

I will have a new pic of the boy soon. I am excited. I will post it later.

Ciao

so yeah

so yeah...

things are good. On november 13th the boy and I will be officially together for a month! well I think its the 13th anyways. Volleyball is almost done and school is going well. I love school right now. but other things kinda suck. like friends you know. but nothing bad with the boy. I am happy.

well gotta go its like almost 1 am here. and I know its a friday night and I should be out, but that story is too long to write when I am so tired so I shall save it for another day....

Ciao

So things are good...

Sorry I haven't written in so long. I have been uber-busy. So yeah things are good. He finally kissed me last thursday and now we can't keep our hands off each other. It is nice. I want to hold him, kiss him, touch him, smell him, feel him every second of the day. He is the best kisser I have ever kissed. Probably because there is actually something there. I feel like puking when I think about him. But like a good puke. lol Like butterflies or ten thousand horses running through my stomach. So things are good....

I shall try to write yous guys more tomorrow.

Ciao

this is the boy

His name is Mateo.....

Hotness I know!!! Go ahead and be jealous....

pusa <3

Good news

SO yeah the BOY LIKES ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am soo happy! We hung out all night last night and it was great. No kiss yet but I did get the best hug like ever. Omg he is so amazing!!! I am flying like a million miles in the air!! hehehehehehehe

Okay thats all for now I shall write more later!

ciao

Tra La La La.....

So yeah...

Wow I haven't been on a computer in forever! My shoulder is doing much better. I have a partial labral tear in it but that isn't bad at all I guess. Well, thats what the doctor said anyways. So I can type again!!! YAYAYAY!!!

Things have been good for me. The last few entries I wrote when I was very upset with a stupid boy. AKA Cory! Yeah guys he came back into my life. He called me like a week ago and we talked about a lot of shit. It was nice to get it all out there. And I guess we are friends now. But whatever. And yeah Jeff is totally gone. He is a buttface anyways! He was just trying to get some from me. and I was like ummm no sorry. So yeah that didn't go anywhere. But I do kinda have a new boy. Well I mean I like him and I am pretty sure that he likes me.

His name is Mateo. He is from Croatia. He is tall dark and handsome. HE is polite as all hell and sweet and has the best laugh. He treats me like a human being. I really like him. and he knows me. Not like he knows my name but like he knows me as a person. Kinda like yous guys know me. He knows my little secrets and what makes me tick. He actually took the time to find out about me before he ever even mentioned being interested. But the one thing that gets me is that he is so polite that he won't even kiss me. Ladies I need some help with this. Are all Croatian guys like this. Do they not want to kiss someone because they want it to be perfect or are they all just to scared to make the first move???? I need to know. Guys you can add things too. But I am happy that he is that way. Because then it will be better when we finally do. I just hope that he really truly likes me. I mean Carolina says he does. And so does my friend Susan. She said she can tell just by the way he looks at me. So I guess that is good right?